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The future’s bleak, so might as well dress the pug as a fairy. Now, I could scoff at such frivolity, but that would be disingenuous as I too harbour a streak of unhinged, swivel-eyed pet madness.

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Mr Greenlaw is said to have appeared on ITV’s This Morning earlier this year to talk about wellness. Former editor of the show Martin Frizell praised his “vibrancy” and “enthusiasm”.